Visual Appetite

“Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.” – Jonathan Swift, 1667-1745


Auguste Rodin once said “To any artist, worthy of the name, all in nature is beautiful, because his eyes, fearlessly accepting all exterior truth, read there, as in an open book, all the inner truth." And that inner truth is the Artistry of the Almighty. He is no doubt the Grand Designer and Fashioner. That when you feast your inner vision on the elements and puzzles of nature, you'll be in awe as you unwrap God's magical touch in everything He's created. This in my humble opinion is the reason Ralph Waldo Emerson - poet and writer extraordinaire - quipped "The eyes indicate the antiquity of the soul".

The soul is our door to the other side. We may not be spiritual at all to believe in the “other side” but when you entertain your visual appetite to explore nature, we begin stumbling across numerous clues on the existence of a far superior being than ourselves. We begin to discover the inadequacy of our civilizations, our thoughts, our systems and our technology. These become in visual terms, a muddled pile hurled against the Clarity. Its thoughts like this that still amaze me about atheists scientists – for me, the more you delve into science, the more affirmation you get of the existence of God.

When we learn to observe and absorb the visual metaphors that we see around us and digest them into meanings, then we achieve visual literacy. Like linguistic or mental literacy, being visually literate is important for the appreciation of aesthetic and intrinsic values of things we see. We better comprehend our environment; blend in with its mysteries, radiantly flowing with its energy, its being.

Satisfying our visual appetite brings us to a new level of intellectual capacity. We retain and recall things better through visual memory triggers, we learn to think vividly so we organize our thoughts better and learn to use those parts of our brains that are dormant (sometimes very dormant) and in a way critically enhance our other senses. Picture this – what triggers desire? Is it not visual stimulation? You suddenly feel that craving for that creamy caramel-topped with dark chocolate shavings and toasted walnuts blissful dessert when you “see” it in your mind (…BigBraza), yet when your mind pictures you hustling over those 25kg weights at the gym, that craving is instantly reduced to sauna steam. When you miss someone, it’s their vision that elicits that feeling and so on. That’s why visual communication is such a huge thing in marketing today. To get effective responses from a specific target audience, you have to craft a campaign that demographically matches them. Then convert that to imagery. Don’t worry we’ll soon deviate to branding, my cup of tea…….

Today, I’ll satisfy my visual appetite by looking at things I normally don’t, in a deeper, more observant way. Then try to understand them, on the surface and within. Maybe even juggle my thoughts trying to get inspiration from them to enhance other spheres of my life. That’s why I use food coloring as dye!

Just Coffee, I Insist!

What's the definition of courtesy? I mean, is it one of those things that are subjective and left to one's interpretation or it's something that is generally expected of everyone, regardless of where you come from. We may not be very forthcoming in matters that are embarrassing to us, but we sure learn a $%^#& load from them! So an incident happens in a really fancy restaurant. Two jamaz are hooking up for a business deal. The first guy arrives early and meets some ladies he knows. Being one of those extinct gentlemen, he invites them for "coffee", expressly telling them just that - coffee. Espresso, Latte, Macchiato, Iced, Blended, Decaf. You interpret whichever way you like just as long as it’s within the confines of the word "coffee".

They gather next to him like a pack of vultures on an abandoned carcass but little does he realize this. They order the most exotic unpronounceable items on the menu. He frets that maybe they didn't hear him say 'coffee'. But still, he doesn't react, hoping that at the end they’d be ladies enuff to pay for the extras. At this point, i could have voted him into the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, because if i was the one, i'd have clearly made the situation black and white by clarifying who's paying for what. Still, the food comes, oh, plus the beverages. They have so much; they have enough for take away!

He looks at the bill and although they are outside on the open air, he feels like he's locked inside a raging oven. They clearly have no intention of chipping in. He doesn’t have enough to pay the bill......... but that's a different story.

So where do we draw the line on courtesy when it comes to offers? And even then, how far are we to accept someone’s courtesy without losing ours?

Dream Come True

if you dream it hard enuff, it'll happen.


It was dark, as dark as pitch black could get. But there was the warm tone of her sleepy voice seeping through the darkness like skylight across a hidden cave. She was talking about us, about our past. Then she began on our future that wasn’t going to be. Slowly across the miles over the phone line, the stab struck me. I could have let the cell phone fall like this love was falling, I could have cut her short and tried telling her it would all work out, trying to reverse an inevitable event. But I didn’t.

I listened to her because I had long learnt that the best of virtues is listening. I listened to her because through the times we spent with her, I had come to learn that this day would surely come. I listened to her as she slowly demolished every brick of every dream I had built over time and yet understood that it was something she had to do. I felt every stab deeper, the darkness overcoming my world like a curtain falling on an ant on stage.

She gave me all the reasons she should leave and I kept telling my heart things will get better. All our moments together were now flashbacking in between her piercing words. My feeble mind could not reconcile how we could have been so perfect for each other and have such great times together yet now be on the verge of our love’s death.

She said she was sorry but by now none of all my faculties could comprehend nor process the meaning of that word. I was floating in a swoon and could hardly make up her conversation at the other end of the line. My heart pleaded with my mind to let my eyes weep but my mind was obstinate to the idea. It argued that we had crossed this situation many times before and all those times, we came out alright. I could feel the tug of war between them all over my body.

All the responses I gave her were like a script I was forced to perform. The voices in my mind had become so loud I was between madness and death. So this is how it feels knowing you cannot go on. Then I felt a crack in my heart and the sharpness of its pain stung my every nerve. This triggered my emotion store to release a tear and as it dropped rolling down my cheek, I tried so hard not to let her hear my sob. Another crack in the heart was more shrilling than the first. I could feel it extending fast to the centre. I held my chest with my right hand in a frantic gesture to stop the onslaught but then came another fracture. I shot up from my bed sweating, heart aching and tears falling. I groped in the dark to stop the phone alarm that had just rudely woken me up and was still blaring in my ears. I gasped for a few, thinking about this nightmare I just had. As I caught my breath, I slowly reclined back to sleep, casually throwing my hand over the side of the bed. That’s when the cold reality dawned on me. She was gone.

Marriage Vacancy

so now that am aiming to hook someone, i may as well start this "Project Wifey" with a recruitment advert.

The ideal and successful candidate should be between the ages of 24 and 42 years, be intellectually stimulating, warm but not overly social, open-minded, a go-getter, proud of her heritage, her womanhood and her life.

She should possess excellent communication skills (both verbal and non-verbal), a likeable demeanor as much as daintiness, carry herself with dignity and respect while still being approachable and appreciate not only the finer but also the little things in life.

Other qualifications include: A playful disposition, appreciation of art, design and poetry while versatile in her own being, flexible in character and thought and naturally generous.

She should be willing to accept this offer within the next 277 days and more willing to be stepping for a lifetime.

Minimum Criteria: LOVE will not be evaluated because it's both OVERATED and SUBJECTIVE, instead, the following qualities are a MUST and PARAMOUNT for all the candidates. Disqualify yourself if you do not possess ONE or ALL of these:
Trust, Concern, Understanding, Dedication, Patience, Communication, Spiritual, Fun, Bold and Decisive.

Languages: All the Romantic languages although not a must, affinity to learn both Arabic and Sheng will be an added advantage.
Renumeration: Hooked 4 life, need i say more?
Probation: 3 months, full occupancy within 9 months
Deadline: 12:00pm GMT +3hrs, 2nd May 2006. Potential candidates will be notified verbally, no unsolicited emails please.

Now that am over with this advert, i look back and am amazed how one person can be created and possess so many nice qualities. Isn't God Great?

The Question of Hitchin'

I got my mind made up! I want to get hitched!


Marriage. Just the sound of the word itself elicits some very interesting responses. I find it a whimsical topic. In the sense that you have myriads of drama around the subject and nearly everyone you ask has a unique opinion about it. Every time its popped up as a personal question directed at me, i smile, inhale and face it headlong. That's because if there was anything am so clear about then it must be my stand on marriage.

I think its quite ironic that in our contemporary informed world, we fear the prospect of marital (or martial if you're one of those) life more than the prospect of meeting the parents! In our old folks' times, that was the Big Deal! We now fear that "maybe" it won't work. With so many divorces (and maybe too many unreal episodes of Divorce Court), we have come to be "conditioned" its more likely to fail than succeed.

When i woke up January 1st, 2006, i had a sensational feeling that this is the year i want to get hook'd up 4 life. Initially i brushed it aside as a passing cloud, but it came back in Feb and it still lingers on. Now it's sunk in. The people i've told this react with "Why?", "How?", "Why now?", some even "What for?". Hilarious as they all sound, i give only a simple response. There's time for everything, everyone has their time and my time is now.

I think they are even more flabbergasted by the fact that i have no one in particular in my life that i would be taking this step with. But the journey of a thousand miles starts with that single step, au sio? Someone said "to discover new oceans, you have to be willing to lose sight of the shore" and so the feeling that am onto a good thing is firmly engrained in me.

So remains the question of how am going to accomplish this almost daunting task. Tricky, tricky.... Lets just say as of today, i have 279 days, 12hrs to crown the milestone. I'll work on it like a Microsoft Project. Main task, sub-tasks, timeline, resources, deadlines and milestones. Then InshAllah, see how it goes. For purposes of motivation, i'll call it "PROJECT WIFEY". If i make it or don't (i highly doubt i won't), then in either case i'd have taken the bolder step of gettin' closer to graduatin' kutoka kwa this ludicrous stage we call Udesert. I'll join the illustrious league of many friends i know, Nurein being the latest, Mr. Softcity, Wagaa, Fahim, Abbuking, Mike, Nyokaz, Mbachaz, Kigunda, Getty, Kago, Ibrakki, Peter, Karue, Johnny, Ali and the list goes on and on! Now, am gathering if all these people decided the plunge was good for them, damn, there must be something great in there! So sub-task No. 1 - The Marriage Vacancy Advert. Coming Soon - like tomorrow!

Little Things Mean Alot

........

If i had to choose between my life with all its intrigues and indeliberate dramas and the lives of some of the people i know, i'd certainly not blink twice on retaining mine. Even through hazy days when i feel i cannot go another day, i still find time to appreciate little things. Times i reach rock bottom and feel like tearing but my pride won't let me; so i turn to things that still remind me am human after all. I try to wonder what can make me a better person. Initial thoughts, will blog more on this.

Pixel Love

Today's Agenda .........


I was inspired to do “Pixel love” by Ray McCarty's "San Antonio Rose". Along the way, i came across lyrics to a song with the same title as McCarty’s piece and it flowed with the image I had. “Deep within my heart lies a melody, a song of old San Antone, where in dreams I live with a memory...."

I simply loved this part "....Lips so sweet and tender, like petals falling apart...."

Rahma, this is for you. Something about the dainty lady-like gaze-away, the scarlet flower, the hair-flow and the cowboy hat remind me of you. The bandana you used to spot, the glitter in your eyes, the formidable feminine strength and the artist in you. My Gangsta Gal, I used to say.

The star in this image represents rarity. A one-in-a-million-kinda-thing. This is both true ‘coz not only is it the first full piece in a trend towards digital illustration for me but also represents someone whose star and mine were as much compliments as they were sometimes opposites.

And so there we were, two artists fated to share time, hard to balance our temperaments and in love. In love with what each of us were, in love with art, with nature, with music, with the promises the future held and in love with our fateful meet.

Then as fate would have it, our paths split and like India.Arie, we gracefully accepted it because there’s a blessing in every lesson.

Kujianika!!

So leo nimeamua kujianika, meaning i've decided ku hang ma wax za mine hapa. What i will be doing is put up some of my digital work for display so mnaweza kuzicritic, kucomment, kucompliment etc. With this said, let me unveil the first of these. i call it "Kujianika", the swahili word for "hanging oneself". In literal sense it represents the hanging of my visual thoughts/process/solutions. Click on the image to enlarge it.

Letting Go - The Y-Curve

The dilemma of getting to a closure in anything is a hard one. In personal terms, sometimes i'd rely on my inner strength to carry me forward, built over time by the experiences i've had and the prospect of brighter days to come. Yet, inner strength sometimes fails me.

Today i discovered the Y-curve. This is a change model that represents feelings related to change due to loss of a relationship, death, job etc. The first stage is where people learn that they have to change and sometimes this pushes people into a downward spiral. During this stage, you better let a person express their feelings of anger, denial, depression, frustration and not "butter" them with "things will be alright".

After this, a person unlearns by discarding things that are no longer of use and this is the disposal stage. We shift to a new place, our emotional memories still left in us but with renewed associations, others faded or suppressed. Unless we learn to adapt and come into terms with our past, it’ll be difficult to embrace our future. Bob Marley said “In this great future, you can’t forget your past”.

The last stage is the Looking Forward stage. Here we start the journey of discovering new ways of being, new relationships and treading new oceans. It is a discovery stage where we let go of our past and move forward.

The Y-curve represents the stages people follow as they go through change. In it, I’ve gazed at myself and am much clearer on where I am. In it, I’ve come to openly embrace changes in my life without resisting them.

inspired from The Seven Cs of Consulting , Second Edition, Cope. M (2003)

Above the Rim

If you haven't watched the movie "Above the Rim", you betta!


Today morning i reminisced about 1999. At that time i was doing graphic design for this ad agency and the place was crap. The top guy, the lead designer were all crap. Something about using me seemed to please them. They at the time had this skewed notion that they had "reached" and everybody else was nothing. But years rolled on and i rose from that episode and many others stronger, bolder, wiser.

I promised myself i won't be a door-mat for anything nor anyone. Everything about me levitated around my pride and i let it because it kept me alive. Fed my life with the fuel i needed to keep burning. Now i look back and i think maybe i slipped a little on that promise, because somehow i got people stepping on me and i can't believe am letting them. It's been so many years coming, i should be the last to get stepped on. Today, am back to that age where i took no crap coz i deserve better. And it feels mighty stupendous being above the rim!

Serenity in Truth

Yesterday i re-learnt an old but important lesson. That there's serenity in sticking to the truth. The truth about yourself, the truth about your life, the people you know, your surroundings. It's such a simple truth in itself.

I rediscovered that peace that comes from being true to your being and letting everything else sway with the flow of such realization. This happened because I got stuck in between a rock and a hard place. The only way out was to speak my truth although i knew there were gigantic chances of it recoiling on me. I still did it and today i feel liberated and settled. And it inspired me to do this piece "Serenity in Truth". I think i'll write a poem too soon.

Serenity has taken over anxiety. Am at peace with myself. Could there be any greater thing?

The Debut

Hallo All!

Hi, this is Marazzmatazz and this is the Debut. Blogging all the way from Nairobi, Kenya on latitude 01.17S, longitude 36.48E. I've always wanted to blog maybe as a way to share ideas, express myself and journey within my poetry, making it available out there. So today i begin.

Since am still fairly new in this "game", i'll brush up on my skills before i can further engage my creative juices to compeletely transform this blogsite into something "strange" as i seem to do with every other thing i do. :)

Which reminds me of my place and this little nice red chinese lantern hanging from one corner of the almost cube room. Here's the foto.

Little red chinese lantern